Guest Post by Lauren van Ouwerkerk
The last 2.5 years I spent in Portland finishing my degree was one of the hardest seasons yet. During my time away from home and family at college, I struggled to hear God’s voice, understand why I was there, and often found myself wondering if I had made a wrong decision to move from southern California to the Pacific Northwest. Did I somehow missed a major mark? My time there felt like a constant struggle to keep my head above the water in finances, relationships, and especially in my spiritual life. God seemed so quiet, and all I could do was what I knew how to do—which was to never quit something I started and to continue worshipping God regardless of how far He seemed. I felt constantly drained, discouraged, and often lonely, but I kept pushing to believe God was good and had a plan for me and the place He had me in. I was determined to believe that the gray and rainy season I was in both literally and spiritually was a part of something great that God was working on.
Fast forward six months after graduating and here I am back home in the most beautiful season of my life yet. I really anticipated transitioning back into familiar things to be difficult, yet I couldn’t have been more wrong. Suddenly when I journal each morning, it’s as if my hand couldn’t write down all the things that God was speaking to me fast enough. Throughout the day, He has something to say to me about every little detail and every thought that enters my head. From going such a long time with not being able to distinguish His voice to suddenly having word after word being whispered in my ear has been the sweetest treasure of all.
What I’ve learned from this experience is that often God has us in these places we don’t understand where He seems excruciatingly quite. It is in these places, however, where we build strength, endurance, and trust that He is good and knows exactly what He is doing. James 1:2-4 encourages us to “[c]onsider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
As you read this, if you find yourself in a quiet season, know that with diligence in doing His work and trusting that God is for you, He will always come through. Keep looking to Him, believing that He is good and know that in HIS time He will come through because God “is able to do immeasurablely more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20).
My name is Lauren van Ouwerkerk. I am 22 years old, just graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in Theology from Portland Bible College and recently moved back home with my family to Camarillo, California. My dream is to do mission work somewhere outside of the US, work with kids of different cultures, be a teacher, and share the love of Jesus in the midst of it all. My journey really started when I was 17 and since then God has brought me through, taught, and revealed things to me that I never in 1 million years could have imagined as a teen. I also have a big love for writing so thank you for reading this short story of mine!
